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Episode 215: Setting Our Own Course in Life & Career

core work Jan 25, 2023

Katie Flahive Class

"Setting our own course. We are powerless over other people's expectations of us. We cannot control what they want, what they expect, or what they want us to do or be."

Keep the focus on yourself.

What other people think of me is none of my business. 

Taking care of myself pays enormous dividends.

Take care of yourself first, and the rest will follow.

Put on your bubble suit. When you go into difficult situations with people who push your buttons, probably because they install them, it's really helpful to know that you have a little space around you that nobody can penetrate.

"We can, however, control how we respond to other people's expectations."

We are not responsible for our first thought, but we are responsible for our second. 

I encourage you to stop taking a step back and ask yourself, "is this healthy for me or unhealthy for me?" And then responding.

A response is a reaction with a pause and a thought behind it.

"During the course of any day,...

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Episode 214: Self Care During Stressful Times

core work Jan 18, 2023

Time Management Workshop

Do the next right thing.

The Language of Letting Go

"Rest when you're tired. Take a drink of cold water when you're thirsty. Call a friend when you're lonely. Ask the universe to help when you feel overwhelmed."

Yeah, I was in a very challenging, difficult place, along with millions of other people. But I'm here. I survived. I handled it. And out of that came self-esteem, more self-esteem that I'm capable of and will never, ever be given more than I can handle.

I will never be given more than I can handle, but I will be given more than I can control.

"Many of us have learned how to deprive and neglect ourselves. Many of us have learned to push ourselves hard when the problem is that we've already pushed too hard. Many of us are afraid the work won't get done if we rest when we're tired. The work will get done. It will be done better than work that emerges from tiredness of soul and spirit."

Refuel. With self-love, with good food, with tea.


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Episode 212: New Years Goals

core work Jan 04, 2023

Time Management Workshop 

Ask Me Anything

I always find December to be actually the hardest time of the year. I feel like there are more demands put on me in all areas of my life.

I will allow myself just to be where I'm at.

So if you feel like you're starting the new year exhausted. I just wanted to say I hear you. I'm kind of there myself, but it's all right.

Find the pockets of time when you can take care of yourself.

The Language of Letting Go: 

"Make New Year's goals. Dig within and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part."

If you want to change your own life, you need to take responsibility for it.

"It is an affirmation that you're interested in fully living in the year to come."

Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious and subconscious level. Goals give our life direction.

What would you like to have happen in your life this year?

"What would you like to do?...

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Episode 211: A Message to Send You Into 2023

core work Dec 28, 2022

I’m really grateful for this year.

I want you to think of a few things that you are grateful for. 

  • What's number one? Fill in the blank.
  • What's the number two? Fill in the blank.
  • And what's the third thing you're grateful for this year, in 2022? Fill in the blank.

Also, start to look forward to 2023.

  • Are you looking to this year coming up with anticipation and excitement? Dread? Worry? Fill in the blank.
  • What are the three emotions you are looking at 2023 with?

Feelings aren't facts.

Take your emotions out of your to do list. 

When we are worried or anxious, the real question is, “what are we not taking responsibility for?”

So if you have some sort of negative feeling toward 2023, ask yourself, “what are you not taking responsibility for?”

Ask yourself, How can I baby step and take responsibility?

Once taking responsibility, especially when you're frightened, especially when you're scared. When you're able to do that, you build so much...

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Episode 207: The Power of Serving as an Actor

core work Nov 30, 2022

Ask Me Anything

Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

My manifesto for my life is to inspire.

It is the one word that I feel describes what my purpose on this planet is to do. I wake up, and I show up for duty.


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Episode 206: Family Buttons Around the Holidays

core work Nov 23, 2022

Ask Me Anything

“I was 35 years old the first time I spoke up to my mother and refused to buy into her games and manipulation. I was terribly frightened and almost couldn't believe I was doing this. I found I didn't have to be mean. I didn't have to start an argument. But I could say what I wanted and needed to say to take care of myself. I learned I could love and honor myself and still care about my mother the way I wanted to, not the way she wanted me to.” 

Take a step back and observe. 

I tell myself, mouth shut.

If you are using your mind to govern your brain while you are with family over the holiday and you start to spot the stuff going on.

You can simply remain quiet and just observe it:

  • Maybe go to the kitchen.
  • Make yourself a cup of tea. 
  • Make yourself a cup of coffee.
  • Go to the bathroom.
  • Say, "You know what? My legs are a bit stiff. I'm going to go for a walk."
  • Understand that you don't need to be trapped into it.

You can observe it and can...

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Episode 205: Control vs. Trust as an Actor

core work Nov 16, 2022

Ask Me Anything

Control versus trust.

“There was a time in my life when I felt so afraid of and overwhelmed by the very act of living. That I actually wanted to make out a schedule for each day of my life for the next five years. I wanted to include all the chores I had to do when I would do them, even when I would schedule relaxation. I wanted to get some order into what felt so incredibly overwhelming. I wanted to feel like I was in control.”

How many times have I woken up in the morning and just gone, "Oh my God, I don't know how I'm going to be able to face this day?" How many times have I woken up going, "How am I going to take a step forward?"

And the fact of the matter is, I can't control anything.

The only thing I can change is myself and my attitude.

And the whole thing I think about anxiety is that anxiety is about control. 

Remember, we will never be given more than we can handle. But we will be given more than we can control.

Controlling is a...

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Episode 204: Have Some Fun as an Actor!

core work Nov 09, 2022

Ask Me Anything!

Have some fun.

How important that is, for your instrument as an actor, but also for you as a human being.

“So have some fun. Loosen up a bit, enjoy life. We do not have to be so somber and serious. We do not have to be so reflective, so critical, so bound up within ourselves and the rigid parameters others and often ourselves have placed around us.”

One of the things when I was starting out as a young actress, I would always be quite somber and serious.

It wasn't until doing this work that I allowed myself to be a little bit more silly because it was almost like I felt like it wasn't safe for me to have fun.

I think that I had this idea that I had to work, work, work, and I had to be miserable, and it had to be hard. And that's just not the way it is.

Because when we relax and we have fun, and we play, that's when we enjoy our lives the most, but also how we enjoy a scene or acting the most.

The best actors are so relaxed and in the moment.


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Episode 203: Letting Go of Timing as an Actor

core work Nov 02, 2022

Ask Me Anything

Letting go of timing

Be humble to the moment

“Time thou must untangle this, not I. It is too hard a knot for me untie.”

That nagging feeling of like, “why isn't it moving faster?”

That's what this is all about.

The Language of Letting Go

“When the time is right. How often have we heard those words from a friend? From the universe. From anyone. We sometimes want things so badly: that job, that check, a relationship, a possession. We want our life to change. So we wait sometimes patiently, sometimes anxiously wondering all the while, when will the future bring me what I long for? Will I be happy then? We tried to predict, circling dates on the calendar, asking questions. We forget that we don't hold the answers. The answers come from the universe. And if we really listen closely, we will hear them. When the time is right. When the time is right. Be happy now.”

And when it comes to being uncomfortable, meaning being in process, that...

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