Episode 413: The Addiction to Almost

Have you been pinned? Have you gotten your avail check? Are you down to the final two and still waiting?

You get told things like this. They loved you. You were absolutely down to the final two. And these words can feel wonderful until you realize that you have built an emotional home in the almost.

It is sort of like you created the space to be second best.

Almost Is Real Evidence

Let's not minimize it. Being close is real evidence that your work is connecting. But here is the thing. Almost can become your identity. I am always close but I do not get there. Once that story takes hold, every near miss becomes proof. And that is what we want to be so careful of.

From a casting perspective, when I have to tell an actor it was down to you and one other actor, what I am really saying is you were so great and I will definitely be keeping you in mind for future projects. It is not this one, but it is not nothing.

I will tell you about a particular animation project where I was the second choice. I had a friend say sometimes there is a role that just gets you, and that was the one that really got me. But here is the thing. That was over 20 years ago and I have continued to work throughout the years.

You will audition again. You will get a job again.

And sometimes almost is not your identity at all. Almost is a detour sending you in the right direction. I was the first American to get into the Guildhall School of Music and Drama, and that was a phenomenal experience. But only because I did not get into the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art first.

What Almost Can Do to You

Actors start counting near misses instead of noticing the level at which they are competing. You are competing with incredible competition. You are really doing great.

What starts to happen is we experience that final decision as losing something we never actually had. And when we feel like we have lost something we never had, we start creating that space for the almost. We start building an identity around it. I am the almost person.

Or maybe you stop auditioning altogether to avoid any further disappointment. I remember that feeling. I would think, forget it, I am not doing this anymore. But here is the thing. That is not going to do a lot of good.

Reframe It Without the Nonsense

I do not want you to pretend you are not disappointed. But do not turn that disappointment into your reality.

Being consistently in serious consideration is information. It means you are on the right track. Be the last one on the bus. Be the last one standing.

Thomas Jefferson said the only time we ever really fail is our last attempt at trying.

Ask yourself what is working in your auditions. What is within your control. And then keep moving.

Almost is a location. It is a location in your timeline. It is not an identity. Being close means you are close. It does not predict the next room or the next audition.

Do not build a mythology out of a casting decision.

When you are close and you do not book, give yourself a defined period to be disappointed. Then record the useful evidence. What worked. Who saw you. What relationship deepened. Because if you were close, your relationship deepened. And after that, release that imaginary job. It was not yours to begin with.

The Bottom Line

Celebrate the level you are reaching without settling into the almost.

Your job is not to prove the pattern wrong. Your job is to keep showing up as the actor who is capable of being in those conversations.

Let me say that again. Your job is to keep showing up as the actor capable of being in those conversations.

You are capable. You can do this.

Want to Keep the Conversation Going?

We have partial scholarships available right now for my two weekly classes. The Weekly Accountability Group meets every Friday at 12pm Eastern, 9am Pacific, and covers accountability, time management, business, goals, and follow-through. The Wisdom class follows immediately after and covers the deeper personal work, patterns, choices, what gets in our way, how to live with more freedom and have more fun being ourselves.

If you are interested in applying for a partial scholarship, email me at peter@actingbusinessbootcamp.com And if scholarships are currently full, let us know anyway and we will put you on the list for next time.

As I always say, stay safe and treat yourself real well.