Episode 224: Is This Good Enough? The Self Tape Saga
We have a problem because we are looking outside of ourselves to get validation.
The only validation that counts is getting validation from the hardest person on the planet to get it from, which is ourselves.
What do you need?
And it's the same for our self-tapes, and it's the same for auditions.
I also need to say, from a casting point of view, from a casting director's point of view, if I see somebody posting something and asking if it is good enough on social media, I am immediately not interested.
Because what that tells me as a casting director is you don't think it's good enough and that you need to go and get validation somewhere else.
As a casting director, I am only interested in auditioning and only interested in booking actors who know that their work is good and doesn't don't need to put it out on social media.
You are good enough.
I always say that I am good enough is the one affirmation you can't say enough.
Our self-esteem and our confidence as actors are imperative.
It is imperative because agents, managers, casting directors, producers, and directors can read your desperation.
And we're not interested in working with really desperate people.
I'm interested in working with and collaborating with actors who know they are good and know their stuff in their training, in their skill set, and in how they operate in the business.
The more you know yourself, the more you build your self-esteem, the more you work on yourself, and the more I (the casting director) want you.
The more attractive you are, the more magnetic you are. And isn't that frickin incredible?
"Trust can be one of the most confusing concepts in life. Who do we trust, and for what? And the answer is learning little bit by little bit to trust ourselves. A friend and I have been texting quite a bit, and he says, "Don't forget, anyone can eat an elephant one bite at a time."
So that's the first tool I want to teach you is in learning how to trust yourself, say just a little bit less, and listen a little bit more.
Also, when someone has a problem, not immediately going to solve it for them or try to be helpful, but just be a good friend and listen and say, "I hear you."
"The most important trust issue we face is learning to trust ourselves. The most detrimental thing that's happened to us is that we came to believe that we couldn't trust ourselves. Ask yourself, Where did I learn not to trust me?"
Keep the focus on yourself. And focus on trusting yourself instead of getting other people to trust you.
- Focus on your own opinion. Your own opinion of your self-tape.
- How do you feel you did?
- Be rigorously honest with yourself.
- Was that the best work you could do in that moment?
- Were you 100% committed?
- Was what was going on in the scene more important to you than what somebody else might think about it?
Well, if your answer is yes and you know you did your best, guess what? It's a great self-tape; you don't have to post it on social media.
Say it with me. I am good enough. I am good enough.
And if you are having trouble saying that, I encourage you to just do something very simple: written affirmation work, which is just take the phrase I am good enough. And write it out with pen and paper and say it as you write it ten times a day if you can do it ten times in the morning and ten times at night.
Start to change that thought pattern around being good enough because the Truth, the Universal Truth, is that you really are. Now. It's time to believe it.
