"Boundaries. Sometimes life and people. And the business seemed to push and push. But because we are used to so much pain, we may tell ourselves that it doesn't hurt. Because we are so used to people controlling and manipulating us, we may tell ourselves that there is something wrong with us. There is nothing wrong with us. Life is pushing and hurting to actually get our attention. Sometimes the pain and the pushing are pointing toward a lesson. And the lesson may be that we've become too controlling, or maybe we're being pushed to own our own power and take care of ourselves. When this comes up, the issue is actually boundaries. If something or somebody is pushing you to your limits, that's exactly what's happening. You're being pushed to your limits. And a different way of thinking about it is we can actually be grateful for the lesson that's here to help us explore and help us to set boundaries."
The exercise for when somebody is pushing me And I can't take it anymore:
Example: Because if I say to you, you're always late. "I'm really pissed. You're always late." Well, what I'm immediately doing is putting you in the defensive position, and that's not going to help anybody.
Instead, try: "I feel frustrated when I am kept waiting and waiting, and I need for our coffee dates to start on time."
So that's how you set a boundary.
And I encourage you to rewind this a bit and listen to it again so you really, really understand it.
"Sometimes life and people seem to push and push."
And that's where we get burnt out. That's where we get cranky. That's where we get into hungry, angry, lonely, and tired.
"But because we are used to so much pain, we may tell ourselves it doesn't hurt because we are so used to people controlling and manipulating us. We may tell ourselves there is something wrong with us."
And that's the problem: we continue to accept unacceptable behavior, but that doesn't make it right.
It's time for us to start treating people how we want to be treated.
When we head into that, telling ourselves that there is something wrong with us. That's Shame.
That's shame because we feel that there is something defective with us, which there absolutely is not.
"There is nothing wrong with us. Life is pushing and hurting to get our attention. Sometimes the pain and pushing we are pointing toward is a lesson."
You might have to set a boundary with yourself.
We can be grateful for the lesson that's here to help us explore and to help us learn how to set boundaries.