The longevity of the work.
You helped me to see how strong I could be and how secure and how confident, and how you have to teach people how to treat you.
And from that advice, I have continued to use it when negotiating clients and contracts and, you know, dating, you can't assume people are going to treat you right, and you have to stand up for yourself and ask for what you deserve.
You just gave me the right tools for me to realize that it was all in my control. I didn't have to be a victim of other people's bad actions or negativity holding me back.
You stand in your own way.
Let's say when you came to coaching, you were operating at 30%. Of where you were at, of where of what your potential was—30%. I helped you to see—the other 70%.
And on the good days, it's 100%. And on the bad days, it's 80 or 90%. But it's a heck of a lot more than the 30% that was being operated with.
Life and work are hard enough. Why aren't we using our full potential? And I think we're not using our full potential because we're only aware of the 30%. We don't even realize there's a whole other 70% there.
I was afraid of change. I didn't want to not be the victim anymore. It was easier being a victim and complaining than it was to actually. Deal with the issues and learn how to do things to make it better.
I realized that something needed to change. I wasn't sure what it was, but I needed help. And because I was desperate.
"When you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, you'll change."
Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at really do change.
I am no longer miserable in my own head. My head is a happy neighborhood.
We would rather stay in the misery because that's familiar than take the risk on the incredible.
Your life is like a thermometer, and you've got a certain temperature that you're comfortable being at. But if you get too cold or hot, your body wants to return to its comfort zone.
For me, that was the most challenging part about change was that I knew that I was getting out of my comfort level.
We had a global pandemic. It was not your fault.
"It gets better; it gets worse; it gets different; it gets real."
So what is the number one word that comes up for me when I think of Karen is capable.
You had the foresight that the ability to do enormous things. You lost your business. You dealt with that. You saw your income go from mid-six figures to zero. You had a condo that you could sell.
Your mom is getting older. So that's an opportunity. Also, you landed a full-time job in a company. You did that.
Take a moment and acknowledge you weren't a victim. You handled this situation. And not only that, when the shit hit the fan, you picked up the tools.
You picked up the core work tools, and you applied them.
So incredible because when the shit hits the fan, our number one thing is to go to all the negative stuff.
You are probably the most capable person you know.
Can you reframe what your life is actually like?
It gave me gratitude for what I did have—and reframing where I am now. I'm getting time with my mom. There's a good chance I wouldn't get this time with her if the pandemic didn't happen.
But I think the hardest part still is how quickly you can go back to that little girl.
And I immediately went right back to that little girl with big brown hair and, you know, the dress with the sneakers on because I felt so alone.
I felt like it was my fault. I've learned that it isn't and wasn't.
Use the tools to get me in the right direction quicker.
Truth with a capital T: Yes, you could have made things easier for yourself with a bigger nest egg. But you also can make things easier with your thoughts.
I love the Louise Hay phrase. "Stop torturing yourself."
It's about creating a happy place in your brain. Sometimes my brain isn't 100% happy, but I'd say, 80% of the time, it's pretty damn happy.
Exercise: find a picture of yourself. As that little girl when you started to feel the fear. And keep it with you always and refer to it always because that's who you're taking care of.
Go back to that exercise, and I want you to tell her that even though, yes, you lost your footing. You still always had her back through this whole thing that has happened for you. You still had her back.
There is a lot to be grateful for.
The opportunity to deal with it, to show myself that, yet again, I am capable.
Exercise: Please look at everything that you have shared with us today. And I want you to find the evidence that shows you that you are capable.
I want you to use your life to show that you are capable.
Why don't you think of it differently? Because thoughts are just thoughts, and they can be changed.
I am fucking capable.
The work is about realizing your full potential in all areas of your life.
Love the skin you're in.