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Episode 221: When You Hear "We're Passing..."

core work Mar 08, 2023

Money Mastery for Actors

Guide to Booking Commercial Voiceover

Ken Rea Class

Katie Flahive Classes

Introduction to Commercial Voiceovers

Advanced Commercial Workshop

What to do when they “pass.”

Leslie Jones/ Chris Rock Story:

  • “You’re not ready.”
  • Basically what she said is, what the fuck does that mean?
  • But, she kept following him. She kept, you know, making sure he saw her work, and then one day he basically got her an audition for SNL.

And sometimes a pass means just that by that one person.

That you're not ready. And sometimes it means, “Hey, I can't do anything for you. I would like to, but I can't do anything for you.”

I cannot tell you how many times I have said to an actor, “I don't have anything for you right now.” And I can tell that Actor believes I am lying, but I genuinely don't have anything for them at that moment.

The Language of Letting Go.

And I'm going to talk about the emotion of sadness.

“Ultimately to grieve our losses means to surrender to our feelings."

I think it takes a brave person to feel their feelings.

And it takes a lot to do that. And I can fight it. I can say, No, I don't. But the best thing I can do is just feel them, process them.

“But we can learn from our grief. So many of us have lost so much, have said so many goodbyes. Have been through so many changes. We may want to hold back to the tides of change, not because the change is in good, but because we've had so much change and so much loss.”

Because that is something when we change, we have to let go of something to make.

There is a part of me inside emotionally in my solar plexus that feels exhausted, exhausted by change, exhausted by new.

“Sometimes when we are in the midst of pain and grief, we become short sighted. Like members of a tribe described in the movie Out of Africa. “If you put them in prison,” one character said, “they die.” “Why?” Asked another character. “Because they can’t grasp the idea that they’ll be let out one day. They think it's permanent, so they die.” Many of us have had so much grief to get through, sometimes we begin to believe grief or pain is a permanent condition.”

The pain will stop. This, too, shall pass.

Because once felt and released, our feelings will bring us to a better place from where we started.

Even when an agent, or manager, or a casting director, or a project passes on us.

Feeling our feelings, instead of denying or minimizing them, is how we heal from our past and move forward into a better future.

Feeling our feelings is how we let go.

Feeling our feelings is learning about how we feel so that we can be the vessel for characters to feel them as well.

How can we play abject sadness if we have not allowed ourselves to feel abject sadness?

Feeling our feelings, as artists is good, is educational, makes us better.

Now, mind you, I'm saying feel them, not wallow in them. Feel them. Process them.

When I'm going through a hard time, I say, “help me to feel these feelings as much as I need to in order to process them.”

“It may hurt for a moment, but peace and acceptance are on the other side. And here’s the best part: so is a new beginning.”

So let's feel those feelings and go out there and create our best.