The Language of Letting Go.
“I sat in the car looking at a sign on the door of the food shelf office. Closed until Friday. It was Wednesday. I had two hungry children and myself. I had no money. I laid my head on the steering wheel. I couldn't take it anymore. I had been so strong, so brave, so trusting for so long. I was a single parent with two children, recently divorced. I had worked so courageously at being grateful for what I had while setting financial goals and working at believing I deserved the best. I had put up with so much poverty, so much deprivation. Daily, I worked the 11 step. I worked so hard at praying for the knowledge of the universe's will for me and the power to carry me through. I believed I was doing what I needed to do in my life. I wasn't lollygagging. I was doing my best, working my hardest. And there just wasn't enough money. Life had been a struggle in many ways, but the financial struggle seemed endless. Money isn't everything, but it takes money to solve certain problems. I was sick of letting go and letting go and letting go. I was sick of acting as if I had enough money. I was tired of having to work so hard daily and letting go of the pain and fear about not having enough. I was tired of working so hard at being happy without having enough. Actually, most of the time, I was happy I had found my soul in poverty. But now that I had my soul and myself. I wanted some money too. While I sat in the car trying to compose myself, I heard the universe speak to me in that silent, still voice that whispers gently to our souls. You don't ever have to worry about money again, child. Not unless you want to. I told you that I would take care of you. And I will. “Great.” I thought, “Thanks a lot.” I believe you. I trust you. But look around. I have no money. I have no food. And the food shelf is closed. You've let me down. Again. I heard the voice in my soul. You don't have to worry about money again. You don't have to be afraid. I promised to meet all of your needs. I went home, called a friend, and asked to borrow some money. I hated borrowing, but I had no choice. My breakdown in the car was a release. But it didn't solve a thing that day. There was no check in the mailbox. But you know what? I got food for the day. And the next day. And the next. Within six months, my income doubled. Within nine months, it tripled. Since that day, yes, I have had hard times. But I have never had to go without. Not for more than a moment in time. Now I have enough. Sometimes I still worry about money because that seems to be habitual. But now I know I don't have to, and I know I never did.”
The number of years I truly suffered. But my suffering was self-inflicted.
And then I remember saying to myself, “Well. You've got two choices here. You can continue to live the way you've lived with money. Or, you can try this.”
Even though I knew that didn't work for me. It was comfortable.
You have a goal, so let's say the goal is to be financially free. In order for that goal to happen, your thoughts must align with the goal, and your actions must align with the goal.
And that is difficult. Why do I say it's difficult?
Well, one, the action is difficult because you need to do contrary behavior. You need to get out of your comfort zone and do different things.
But it's also about your belief system. And what you believe about money, and not only what you believe about money but what you believe money says about you.
And that's why it's so damn difficult to change your behavior and to change your thoughts because. That is the combination of the two of them. Gives you a really good indication of what you believe about yourself.
And that's fucking hard to face. It certainly was for me. Because it was really when I started looking at my money, did I start to unearth, did I start to excavate the real problem.
Around my relationship with myself, which is I didn't love myself. And that was reflected in my self-worth.
If I can get out of that stinking thinking around money, if someone who is partially dyslexic around money can learn this budget system and thrive so that they have a whole entire year of expenses in the bank as a cushion. So can you.
Imagine this being the first day of the rest of your life regarding your finances.