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Episode 205: Control vs. Trust as an Actor

core work Nov 16, 2022

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Control versus trust.

“There was a time in my life when I felt so afraid of and overwhelmed by the very act of living. That I actually wanted to make out a schedule for each day of my life for the next five years. I wanted to include all the chores I had to do when I would do them, even when I would schedule relaxation. I wanted to get some order into what felt so incredibly overwhelming. I wanted to feel like I was in control.”

How many times have I woken up in the morning and just gone, "Oh my God, I don't know how I'm going to be able to face this day?" How many times have I woken up going, "How am I going to take a step forward?"

And the fact of the matter is, I can't control anything.

The only thing I can change is myself and my attitude.

And the whole thing I think about anxiety is that anxiety is about control. 

Remember, we will never be given more than we can handle. But we will be given more than we can control.

Controlling is a direct response to our fear, panic and sense of helplessness. It is a direct response to feeling overwhelmed. And to distrust. We may not trust ourselves, our higher power, or the universe. The plan. The process of life. But instead of trusting, which is really what we need to be doing, we revert to trying to control. We can approach this need to control by dealing with our fear. We deal with fear by trusting ourselves, our higher power, the love and the support of the universe, the plan, and this process we call life.  And the recovery of ourselves. We can trust that when things don't work out the way we want. The universe does have something better planned.”

Sometimes we don't immediately see it. And we want to see it immediately. Why do we want to see it immediately? Well, because we want to control.

My job is not to control. My job is to show up. And do the next right thing. The next thing on my plate.

We can trust ourselves to get where we need to go. Say what we need to say. Do what we need to do. Know what we need to know. Be who we need to be and become all we can become. When we are intended to do that, when we are ready. And when the time is right.”

So imagine that. Just imagine that.

When we are ready.

When the time is right.

We can trust our higher power, the universe, whatever the heck you want to call it, to give us direction.

We are always doing the very, very best we can in each and every moment. We need to trust. 

“We can trust. All that we need on this journey shall come to us. We will not get all we need for the entire journey. Today, we shall receive today’s supplies today. And tomorrow’s supplies tomorrow. We are never intended to carry supplies for the entire journey. The burden would be too heavy. And the way was intended to actually be light. Trust in yourself. We do not have to plan or control or schedule all things. The schedule and the plan have been written. All we need to do is show up. The way will become clear and the supplies will be amply provided for us and clearly provided. One day at a time. Trust in yourself. Trust in the universe. And trust in today.”

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