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Episode 181: How to Deal with Unsupportive People

core work Jun 01, 2022

 

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Melody Beattie and her book, Language of Letting Go. 

Spokes on a wheel metaphor

When you want to up your game, everybody else around you wants to keep the status quo. 

Often, the people you love most and are the closest to you are the ones who are the least supportive and accepting of you wanting to achieve a whole new level. 

The Bubble Suit:

  • going into difficult work situations 
  • friendship situations 
  • situations when it's not totally comfortable saying, but you need to speak your Truth. 

In your bubble suit, you are loving and protecting yourself. 

"And what is most important for me and what is most true for me." 

When you want to up your game and achieve something that maybe you just haven't yet, but know in your gut and your heart you can do and you're working so hard, yet those people aren't supporting you. 

And Melody Beattie says, "many of us have anger towards certain members of her family. Some of us have much anger and rage, anger that seems to go on year after year, day after day, month after month. For many of us, anger was the only way to break the unhealthy bondage or connection between a family member and ourselves."

And I call this, and many other people call this detaching with an ax. And sometimes, when it becomes abusive, verbally abusive. Sometimes that's what you need to do. That is a choice. 

The number one thing you must do is protect yourself.

She goes on to say that "it was the force that kept us from being held captive, being held captive mentally, emotionally and sometimes spiritually from certain family members."

And the fact of the matter is that sometimes I would go along with things that friends would say or something that a family member would say because I could go along with them and then not take responsibility for my talent, dreams, or goals.

Ultimately, what happens is that those dreams do not get achieved. Those goals do not get done.

The importance of putting your feet to the fire every single day to get those things that you want to do to up your game. 

They do not do it without your cooperation. 

It is essential to allow ourselves to feel. To accept. 

Awareness, Anger, and Action.

Our anger or feelings towards family members without casting guilt or shame on ourselves. And it's also important to examine our guilty feelings concerning family members, as anger and guilt are often intertwined. 

Shame is believing that there is something defective about yourself. And my sweet darling honey bears. There is absolutely nothing defective about you. 

Melody Beatty says, "We can accept. We can even thank our anger for protecting us. We can also set another goal which is taking on our freedom. And the thing is this is that understand that freedom has a price and that price is this, that we are responsible for freeing ourselves and then maintaining our freedom in everything we do. Once we take back our freedom or our own power, we will not need our anger." 

We want to think healing and loving thoughts.

The point of power is in the present moment.

Thank the universe for your feelings. Feel them. Release them. 

Ask the universe to bless and care for your families and for yourself. 

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