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Episode 174: The Emotional Trap of Social Media for Actors

core work Apr 13, 2022

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Monologues with Andrew Dolan

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Feeling triggered by other people’s posts.

“Sometimes I feel social media affects my confidence or self-esteem, even though I know it's primarily used as a highlight reel. Some actors post every single audition they go on to Facebook or Instagram. Others post throwback photos from past shoots or opportunities that they've had. And it can trick us into thinking, Well, why am I not there yet? A good example for me is there was of another actor same age as me, kind of type wise, playing similar roles. You know, we're different, but we're not different kind of a thing. And you know, she has some really good credits on stage on film, and she also has the advantage of, you know, coming from, you know, people who have been in the business before. And she loves posting a lot. And sometimes, you know, I feel like, I don't know the answer to how I should be investing energy into social media and how much, you know, I should be investing in myself.”

And really, the question that she's asking is, you know, how much stock do you put in this kind of a thing? Why not me? 

And I kind of want to turn that around and say, well, why not you? 

“Losers focus on winners. Winners focus on winning.”

Keep the focus on your life. You've only got one. 

I can't focus on somebody else's life because it's not mine to live. I only have mine. 

Ask yourself: How I can make it the best possible life I can? What are the things that are required of me to do that?

Get the focus off of other people and get it onto yourself

Write down areas of your life:

  • Social
  • Career
  • Finances
  • Family
  • Hobbies
  • Health

Ask for each: Where am I and where do I want to go?

Because if you want good health, but you're thinking, “I'm always sick”, that's not working.

That needs to be aligned. “I feel good, I want to feel good.”

And then also it's about the actions. EX: I really want to be in great shape. 

Your thoughts need to be “my body works wonderfully for me. I'm in fantastic shape.”  

How social media can be helpful: When you see a friend starting to get real success, here's an idea. Support them. 

Somebody else's success does not take away from yours. That’s ego talking. That’s little t truth. 

Universal Truth is infinite. There is enough success out there for everyone, so if Joey just put the lead in a Broadway show or the lead opposite Denzel in a film that does not take away from you? 

Say if they can do what I can do it too. 

  • Get closer to that person. 
  • You want to know how they did it. 
  • What did these people do?
  • What did they think?
  • What was their process before they became successful?
  • Ask them: What was it like? What is it like when it's tough? What is it like, when you just started out?

Because it's from that that you can get the inspiration to apply it to your own life. 

So when it comes to social media and seeing your friend's success. Embrace it. Embrace it.  

Turn it on its head, let it motivate you to focus on what you want, and if you don't know what you want.

What is your ideal career? It's one of the first things I ask. Because then we got to align your thoughts. 

We got to align your actions, and we've got to get your acting training up to snuff. 

So in terms of the trap of social media for actors, again, I ask you to turn it around. 

Practice contrary action. And that is not only with your actions but also with your thoughts. Instead of resenting, support. Instead of wanting to pull away from that person, go closer to them. Congratulate them. Ask how they did it. What advice they would have. 

Be curious, be curious about your friend's success. 

That's how you learn. That's how you get successful.  

I so, so strongly believe that you need to do that, the thing that scares you most in life. Is the thing you want to learn how to manage and handle and transcend. 

So that you can ultimately shine your own light. Because the world needs you. 

So don't get stuck in the trap of social media. Embrace social media and the success that it can give you to motivate you to get the focus on your life and get you into that real positive stream of energy that is out there for you.


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